The Bravest Choice
Brave people act fiercely in the face of danger—like rushing into a burning house to save a child or stepping into a violent situation to rescue a victim. Many of us will never need to make that kind of brave sacrifice, yet we each face a choice in our lives that requires more bravery than acting the hero. The bravest choice we can make is the choice to face our own pain.
If that seems ridiculous, hear me out.
I’ve lived with pain in my arms for nearly nine years, and I’ve never once thought of that pain as a blessing. Pain is no fun. Not only does it hurt, but it has the ability to wear one down on the inside. But think of the alternative. What if I couldn’t feel the pain because I couldn’t feel at all? What if the problem still existed inside my body, but the symptom of pain was gone?
That wouldn’t hurt as much, but it would be worse. (If you don’t believe me, research leprosy.) Pain means something is wrong. Pain is the warning that tells me to search for the problem and its solution before it’s too late. Pain is the cautionary voice throbbing in my muscles, stabbing in my back, tingling in my fingers. It tells me something, and if I don’t listen, my problems will only get worse. So, in a strange way, pain is a blessing. It shows me I’m alive and feeling. It won’t stop telling me the truth until I do something about it.
God made us this way—with nerves in our bodies that can tell us when something’s gone wrong. The same is true of our emotions. The pain we feel when people hurt us is a symptom of brokenness in our hearts. It tells us we need to make sure to do something about that hurt, to search out healing so we can be whole again. Yet all too often, when life hurts us, we want to ignore it, to shove it down, to harden our hearts in an attempt to not feel.
This is especially true when life hands us unbearable pain—when we experience trauma or significant loss and grief. In those seasons, we feel shattered, like facing that pain might actually kill us. When the pain feels impossible to face, many of us have learned to live numb. Or we’ve turned to addiction or self-harm (forms of numbness) in our flight from pain. Yet these attempts to cope with pain without facing it will never free us from it. The only way to resolve pain is to allow ourselves to process it with Jesus until we experience his healing. (Finding a therapist or professional counselor trained in dealing with trauma can also be very helpful on this journey.)
Pain is inescapable in this life, but it doesn’t need to destroy us. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). He has the answer for every hurt we face, but that answer is only available when we acknowledge the existence of our pain and our need for his healing power. And when we bravely choose to face our pain with him.
In this world full of trouble, we have a choice. We can harden our hearts in an attempt to avoid pain. Or we can accept that in this life we live with broken hearts, and we can trust Jesus to heal our brokenness. This choice to embrace the brokenhearted life—to face our pain and seek out healing—is one of the bravest choices we can make. In it, we choose to open our hearts to the pain, knowing it will hurt deeply, yet also knowing that in Jesus we can be free.
When Jesus came to this earth, he left a place of perfect love and fellowship with the Father and Holy Spirit. From the day he arrived, people tried to kill him. Though he had followers, he had many more haters. And even his followers were often fickle. Then, on the night of his death, one of his closest friends betrayed him, and the rest abandoned him. If anyone knows about betrayal and broken hearts, it’s Jesus.
Yet he never once closed his heart against others—or against the pain. He loved and forgave fiercely, to the point of death, so that we can receive healing for our broken hearts.
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