But First, Jesus
A few years ago, my husband gave me a sign to hang in our kitchen that says “But First, Coffee.” I’ve been a coffee-lover for more than twenty years, and every morning I would drink a cup of coffee first thing while I spent time with God. Then recently, God asked me to fast coffee for a week. I felt nervous about doing this, because I knew the caffeine withdrawal wouldn’t be fun, but I knew it was him, and I needed to say yes.
And I was right. The withdrawal wasn’t fun. Not only did I have the usual migraine, but also excruciating sciatic pain in both legs that only went away after several chiropractic treatments. These symptoms were so extreme that I questioned whether I should give up caffeinated drinks for good. Maybe the caffeine is causing damage, I wondered. And what if I start and then need to quit again? I don’t want to go through those symptoms again.
Ultimately, with council from my doctor, I decided to stop drinking caffeinated drinks (although I do still enjoy an occasional decaf or piece of chocolate). Surprisingly, I actually had more energy most days, and I found that I didn’t miss coffee nearly as much as I thought I would.
Then, just a few weeks later, my husband was laid off from his job, and I found myself deeply craving a cup of coffee. As I pondered the why of the timing of my craving, I felt God show me that coffee has been a source of security and comfort to me. When I had a hard day, I could curl up on the couch with a good cup of coffee, and it helped me feel better. Now that I was facing a difficult circumstance, I craved the comfort of coffee. And God whispered to me, I want you to crave the comfort of my presence the way you crave that cup of coffee.
We all know God’s presence should be first, but too often, we struggle to make his presence first in our lives. When I was a coffee drinker, I drank coffee religiously. I never missed a cup. I never forgot to drink it. I might forget to drink water—but never coffee. Then, when I found myself craving coffee in the midst of a really hard season, I realized that my former coffee priority is a great picture of what it looks like to have a presence priority.
I didn’t just fit coffee into my life, I fit my life around my coffee. I planned ahead to make sure I’d have coffee when I wanted it. I planned meeting locations based on where I could get the best coffee. And I was willing to be inconvenienced in service of my coffee habit.
How would our lives change if we didn’t just fit Jesus into the extra spaces, but ordered our lives around the priority of his presence?
How would our lives change if we believed that God’s foremost priority is spending time with us, that he has ordered his existence around pursuit of our presence? God doesn’t just want to spend time with us; he was willing to orient history around that desire. He was willing to be inconvenienced to the point of the cross in order to be with us. God’s priority has always been intimacy with us.
If God has a kitchen, I’m pretty sure he has a sign in it that says, “But first, family.”
God’s presence was part of Adam and Eve’s inheritance in the garden, but when they sinned, they hid from his presence. Ever since, he has been hard at work wooing us back to his heart. When Jesus came, he established a family centered on presence. He established a kingdom based on relationship, because he loves to be with us. And even after we have received Jesus, he continues to stand at the door and knock.
In Revelation, Jesus said, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me” (Rev. 3:20). This verse is not talking about salvation; Jesus was speaking to the churches, to believers. In other words, Jesus continues to knock at the door of our hearts, because his first desire is to spend time with us, but we so easily become distracted with other things.
For a long time, I struggled to consistently spend time with God. I knew I should, but I often didn’t. Because I hadn’t developed a habit of connecting with him, I thought I could just fit it in when it felt convenient. But it wasn’t really working. I was fully committed to him, but my relationship with him was mostly shallow. It was like I was married, but only ever spent time with my husband in passing.
When Mark and I started dating, he challenged me to make consistent time with God a priority. I told him that I wanted to, but I already had to get up at 5:30am for work, and I didn’t know when to fit it in. Mark suggested I start by praying for five minutes when I first got up, while still sitting on the edge of my bed. That seemed easy enough, so I did it. And that simple choice changed my life. Eventually, that habit of five minutes of prayer made me hungry for more. And now that I truly wanted it, getting up earlier wasn’t as hard as I had thought it would be.
The same will be true for you. If you’ve struggled to consistently spend time with God, start with just five minutes a day at a consistent time and place. I promise you, God will meet you in it. And he will increase your desire for more. His presence is more addictive than coffee. Your presence is what he longs for.
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